“In real”

embrace_II_1
And even though
some might think
it is the same,
I
don’t want to love
an idea
or just a name!
Don’t want to hold
onto the hopes
to hold you tight.
I
don’t want to miss
your body’s touch,
for what have might.
And even though
some might think
it is the same,
I
want you to love
in real,
not just in name!
copyright Farzam Mikail Fardowsi
Picture thankfully used from here

Die Großen

Die wahrlich großen
die sind nicht groß.
Sie wollen’s auch nicht sein.

Denn ihre Größe
liegt nicht im Maß.
Das Maß ist dem zu klein.

Wahrlich Große bücken sich
für Blumen und für Stein.

Sie kümmern sich
und lachen laut
und sind im Herzen rein.

Die echten Großen
schauen nach oben
und nicht von da herab,

ihre Größe liegt mehr im Tragen
der Lastens Schwere statt.
copyright Farzam Mikail Fardowsi

Coping with depression (part 5)

Worst feelings (part 5)

The “being king Midas”

You feel like everything you touch turns gold for someone else. Not for you. As in the myth, the things you start or do will be not edible for yourself but for others. In the end you feel being left out because you cannot reap what you sow.
In this progress somehow you change perspective between being a god and a slave. Indifferent to these perspectives you feel extremely alone because the feeling creates a great gap between yourself and others.

Coping with depression (part 4)

Worst feelings (part 4)

The “wild animal in the zoo” feeling.

  • constantly feeling eyes on yourself. The deconstruction of the self esteem drives you to permanently feeling being under observation. Not only you are under pressure of not losing face. But a mixture of the way poeple, who know, look at you and the anxiety that nobody will love you for the person you are will be a seed to permanent unrest and a deep destruction in a healthy schematic of yourself.

Forgive (an old one but timeless)

forgive1

How do we dare seek forgiveness
without forgiving another?
How do we call ourself righteous
if right is just for you
and not for each other?

How do we demand goodness of heart
without our hearts on the line?
How do we dare seeking trust
in words of blood
in this time?

How have we succeeded alone
without anyones help,
when each dyme we now own
lacks
someone other instead?

How do we expect a freedom lasting
paid in colorful red?
How can we make money
out of blood
with no trace of conscience instead?

Without forgiveness in you
you are not forgiven at all!
For getting forgiveness
only forgivers are part!

© Farzam Mikail Fardowsi

Picture thankfully used from here

The tower

Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder_-_The_Tower_of_Babel_(Rotterdam)_-_Google_Art_Project

He eats the heat!
He ate the hate!
Soon so on
his filters fade!

Some say it’s clear!
Some say it’s late!
Long times has passed
as we have wait.

As poeple want
this current state.
Some need although
some special trait.

Thoughts to wander,
passed and pour.
Feelings given,
promise lured

Washed and trained
as trains be chained.
Hands together
love is gained.

Signs in words,
thoughts, mimic flow.
Glowing eyes but
behaviour cold.

© Farzam Mikail Fardowsi

Picture is (Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder_-The_Tower_of_Babel(Rotterdam)_-_Google_Art_Project) from here

1.5 Erste Meditation (Der Mythos) (Part 5)

 

beach-house-myth

Bild dankend von hier

 

Aus der Reihe “Der Anker – Meditationen über Sinn und Sein

Damit wir an dieser Stelle verstehen, was diese komplizierten Formulierungen bedeuten versuche ich das Ganze in ein Mythos zu Packen.

Vorneweg dies ist ein Mythos, damit hat er keinerlei wörtlich zu nehmende Wahrheit in sich, sondern kann nur im Verstehen einen Anriss geben, was ich versuche damit zum Ausdruck zu bringen (Stichwort: Fehlbarkeit der Sprache). Dementsprechend liest und versucht zu erfühlen, was ich damit im Zusammenhang zu der Meditation zum Ausdruck bringen will.

Besondere Anmerkung: Das Ganze ist weder weiblich noch männlich und beides Zugleich, auch wenn ich sprachlich hier von einem “er” spreche (Wegen “der” Grund!).

Nun zu dem Mythos:

Continue reading