I only wanted to love,
Instead they sold me a car!
Put fancy clothes on me
named me after a star!
I only longed
for the look of your eyes!
Instead I cry and I cry and I cry.
I only wanted to be the reason you smile!
Instead I die and I die and I die.
I only wanted to sleep in your arms!
Instead I got a coffee to go.
I didn’t wish for any harm
But they said it’s not good for the show!
I only longed
for the look of your eyes!
Instead I cry and I cry and I cry.
I only wanted to be the reason you smile!
Instead I die and I die and I die.
And now I have a thousand things I could lose,
but I only wanted you instead!
They say I am unthankfully rude
and they play with my head, with my head, with my head!
Farzam Mikail Ferdosi


The world is heading
into dire ways.
Hope shuts up
and reason fades.

When words feel numb
and pain complains
and one just follows
what some dictates.

I’ll sit in silence
with nothing to say
nothing to know
I only can pray.

That tomorrow
and after
the end of today.
A world I can live in
will stay!

Farzam Mikail Fardowsi




the most beloved tool
it’s meaning we seek
it’s meaning we fool.

As easily we write
not everyone has
not everyone might.

most sacred of treasures
we search in the world
we search it by measures.

We steal from, we kill
one or two to obtain
the hardship of history
washed away with the rain.

Never was it so hard
to understand what it means.
As now while we have it
and we fear it to leave.

And the history repeats
it’s violent gore.
Our savior , our “freedom”
doesn’t help anymore.

A small light inside
is not stopping to be.
The freedom in reason
it’s “peace” what it seeks!

Let it be!

© Farzam Seyed Mikail Fardowsi

The picture thankfully used from here



Recently I thought about Alchemy and I was thinking of the law of the Conservation of mass. The rule basically says that, in this already existing world (in a system), nothing comes from nothing and nothing perishes in nothing, therefore, it ” implies that mass can neither be created nor destroyed, although it may be rearranged in space, or the entities associated with it may be changed in form, as for example when light or physical work is transformed into particles that contribute the same mass to the system as the light or work had contributed. The law implies (requires) that during any chemical reaction, nuclear reaction, or radioactive decay in an isolated system, the total mass of the reactants or starting materials must be equal to the mass of the products.” (thank you Wikipedia)

Phew I hope this was not too hard to understand!

What I am trying to say is. I thought about birth and I thought how wonderful it is that the whole world starts to give mass to oneself from the moment two poeple make love, we are born, to the moment we grow up and then, when we get older, we start to give mass to the world until our death. Just the idea of it let me feel as being part of something big, receiving and giving the blessing of the whole world. Of God in person. And if we stay in this idea and get rid of a model determined just in physics. Think about the personality we become and the thoughts we do give into the world. Where do they go? What do we change with them?

I believe that everything we think, everything we do, our whole existence has an impact much more defining as we realize in this world. And not only our existence, every existence matter, every existence has an impact on our lifes, on each life and even on the reality itself. But one small variable stands and I will whisper it softly, knowledge (Erkenntnis) is the key to perceiving reality.

Picture taken from here

The steps we have to take!


“I am afraid of losing control over myself. Because any hope I had, anything which gave me trust to others is currently fading away. Instead I try what the world wants and try to cultivate myself to the forms the world wants me to be. If I can find my gap in this world, I will finally find my love or people will acknowledge me. Just fight! Adjust to the world and fight until you find your spot.” is a thought I catch myself with every now and then. I want to fight but I don’t want to control myself,! I want to be as I am! There is even a term they teach you when you have lost to the “others” and start controlling yourself because you see others as your enemy or you have a strong need to have the structures of the world define how you feel. All for the moment, that if you give in to the structures of the world, you will not feel at ease with yourself at last, because you have a disease. There are names for it, when you obsessively try to do something because the world compels you to take a certain way of life or do something just to fit in. A Disease. Which you can read in books! Heck, there are whole chapters in catalogs with names like DSM-V or ICD 10 about it. Very adequate categorizations of your misbehavior. Continue reading